Old Blog...just by a few days.

Here is a blog I posted a few days ago on myspace.... HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!



Heyooo! Just wanted to write a quick blog cause it's 2 AM and I have one more day left before I leave!
Just wanted to say thanks to everyone really!
These past 3 or so years have been crazyyyyy! God has been so faithful to me!

I just thought I'd share one thing that I've learned (and still am learning).

I have the hardest time believing that God isn't a bully. That God isn't standing up there sending down lightning bolts through his fingers and laughing with this mad professor kind of cackle thing. I know it's silly (man I've been hanging around the schwenks too much..haha).

Before I became a Christian (a devoted christian)....I was an angry kid. I was fatherless(in both ways). I was just a 15 year old girl who wanted and needed a dad so bad that it killed. I was upset....How could this "God" take my world and flip it inside out?

After I began going to youth group at Grace (thanks Holly and Chris...I love you guys)...I began taking notice in a God that once was so dead to me. I remember standing there listening to the worship band and Chris during youth group and hearing the word Father...overrrrr and overrrrr again. I remember thinking in my head, "God I don't want you I want MY father."
A few weeks after that their worship leader invited me to join the worship team playing keyboard (I know weird right?). I had this feeling of urgency like...OH CRAP! WHAT DO I DO?!?!? Well I started playing in a different worship band a few months prior to that...just for a little bit...and I had a few practice CD's. I popped one of them in and this song called "Hungry" played. It got me from the get go...

Broken I run to You/for I know You satisfy/I am weary but I know your touch/ restores my life.....

I was pretty much a wreck after that....God had truely moved me for the very first time.

Slowly God worked on my heart and began showing me his faithfulness. He held me together. He gave me friends when I left the old....people that would strengthen my faith in Him. He gave me a church that became a family to me. He gave me a love for music which I love using to please Him(hopefully it pleases Him haha). He gave me the Schwenks ( they get their own section)...people that love and care and support and do it all with Christ at the center.

So how can I sit here and call God a bully? He sent His only son to die for me. Why can't that be enough? Not only that but He has been SO faithful.
Don't get me wrong...I still struggle (I know. HUGE surprise..a Christian STRUGGLING!! WHAT??? haha). I still miss the earthly or physical aspect of having a Dad; hugs and talks and spending time face to face....but I think God has given me people who maybe don't replace that... but who equally or somewhat match that...(thanks P.Pat and Mr.Pinks..no I haven't forgotten about W. VA).

I think Bethany Dillon sums it up in her song "Be Near Me"

"I cannot believe You are angry or unjust
You have done nothing but have compassion on us
So be near when I've given up
Be near me"

I know it's an easier said than done thing...the whole...Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS thing. But...it's true. God is so compassionate and faithful. Hang in there...you'll make it.

I look forward to the future and what God has in store for me up at Spring Arbor. I'll see you all this summer!

" He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." - Micah 6:8